Honoring Pat

 Atop the clock tower at Berkeley. Pat's only trip to Madelyn's school.

Life is full of changes, including the change from embodied life to a life beyond the body. The reason I have not posted for over a month is that we have been saying good-bye to my beloved mother-in-law Pat, who passed on March 1st. She was diagnosed with dementia about 10 years ago, in her early 60's. Since that time, we have enjoyed her as best we can and we've done our best to help each other  and help her.

 Pat and Bill in happier times - 2008. 

Mady and I joined them in Hawaii to celebrate her graduation from Cal.

Pat was loving, giving, creative and the best mother-in-law you could imagine. She welcomed me into her family with an open heart. She was so glad to have another girl join her in her family of boys. She was delighted to welcome a granddaughter and everything pink and sparkly. Pat spoiled Madelyn in the best possible ways - by being kind, patient, gentle and generous. When Mady was born, without our knowledge, Pat opened a college savings account for her. A life time of depositing bits and pieces from each pay check added up to thousands of dollars when Mady was ready for college. This gift helped Madelyn navigate her undergrad with a relatively small debt load. Also, Grandma Pat's generosity increased Madelyn's sense of gratitude and responsibility. Even though Mady has been given much, she's never taken any of it for granted. You see, spoiled in the best possible way.

 Bill and Pat, relaxing after Thanksgiving Dinner, 2008.

Bill has been Pat's caregiver. For the first few years of her disease, this was a lighter job. In the last few years, it has been a 24/7 act of love. I have learned so much about love from both of these wonderful people. I was privileged to assist with Pat's care for a few years. I was so glad to have a chance to spend focused time with her. I will treasure those times of helping her with her bath, doing her hair and helping her with her lipstick. When we came out of the bedroom to join the boys, she walked and smiled like she was Miss America. She sometimes forgot who I was and would ask Bill to pay me. I didn't mind. I had decided that as long as she knew that I loved and cared for her, I didn't care if she knew it was me. 

Susan and Pat, Christmas 2011.

This is the Christmas when Bill gifted me with Pat's family cookbook.

We were with her when she passed. So many things unfolded in just the right way at the right time, that I can't argue with the outcome. Still, losing someone is hard. Harder than I ever knew. 

Today, I honor Pat. I honor Bill. I honor my dear husband, who lost his mom. I honor my dear daughter who lost her Grandma Pat. I honor all of you who have given care. I honor all of you who have had to receive care. I honor all of you who have lost loved ones. I honor the love that makes the losing so hard. 

More food, coming soon. That is all. 

Simple Pan Roasted Pork Tenderloin

Because I grew up with budget-minded parents and was a stay-at-home mom for many years, meats have been one of my more recent areas of learning. Thanks to a good oven and my Weber Kettle, I'm getting pretty handy at cuts of meat I could never afford as a youngster.

Pork tenderloin is a great cut for meat novices. It is tender by its very nature. All you have to do is not over cook it. Here is a method that can be used with success every time. You can also change the flavor elements. This version is savory with a slight sweetness and the umami of Worcestershire sauce. I've also done this with Asian flavors. When you are ready to explore, try your own favorite flavors. This a good starting point because most people have these seasonings on hand.

Step One -
Preheat a large skillet over a medium-high flame.
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. If you have a convection setting, use it.
Meanwhile, wash and pat dry the meat. Season liberally with salt, pepper, garlic powder and smoked paprika. Flip the meat over and season the other side as well.

 Step Two - Add olive oil to the pan and place the meat into the pan. Sear for 7 minutes on one side, and then the other. Do not be tempted to move it around or flip too early - crust = yum.

Step Three - Remove the meat from the skillet and place it in an oven-proof dish. Finish the cooking in the oven. Depending on the thickness of the meat, it will take 10 to 15 minutes. If you have a digital thermometer (and you should!) the meat should come up to 140 to 145 degrees.

Step Four - To the same skillet, add 1 cup of white wine, 2 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce and 2 tbsp. ketchup. (Yes, ketchup.) Stir to deglaze. Simmer the sauce while the meat is finishing in the oven. It should thicken to a spoonable consistency. Stir occasionally.

Step Five - When the meat has come up to temperature, remove from the oven and pour the pan sauce over the top. Cover and allow to rest for 10 minutes. 

Step Six - Slice and eat! I served ours with mashed potatoes and a saute of squash, onions, apples and kale.

Delish!

Random Food Fridays - Another Farm Box Soup

Look - Capay Valley soil included with every beet at no extra charge!

I love to shop at the farmers' market, but I also get a CSA box. I like the way I get surprises and must bring in some creativity to insure the carefully grown produce is used before it's too late. I love soup and Winter is soup time. Homemade soup is also the packed lunch most likely to keep from going out on a splurge. Healthy, yummy, cheap and easy.

This week's farm box included sweet potatoes, leeks, carrots, golden beet and some citrus, kale and avocados. This soup includes leeks, sweet potatoes, carrots, golden beets, red potatoes, some diced ham , broth and fresh herbs from my garden.

Because all these Winter veg are so un-fussy, I just sliced and diced them and threw them in a big pot with olive oil and a little salt and pepper.

From my garden - parsley, sage, tarragon and thyme.

Voila! Soup!

Winter Farm Box Soup

3 leeks, white and light green part only, sliced lengthwise then sliced into 1/4 inch slices and washed

4 small carrots, diced

4 smallish red skinned potatoes, diced

4 small sweet potatoes, peeled and diced

3 small golden beets, scrubbed well and diced (reserve greens for another use)

9 oz. lean ham, diced

2 tbsp. fresh minced herbs of your choice

10 cups chicken broth
Salt and pepper to taste

Place a large soup pot over a medium heat and add the olive oil. Add all other ingredients, except the broth, and toss to coat in the oil. Saute until the leeks become translucent. Add the broth and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer until all the vegetables are tender and the broth has become slightly thickened by the potatoes.

Makes a lot - about 12 cups.

Random Food Fridays - Smoothie Madness

Berry Breakfast Smoothie:

1/2 cup Greek yogurt

1 banana, peeled

1 Satsuma Mandarin orange, peeled

1 Kiwi, peeled

1 medium carrot, cut into chunks

Hand full of greens

1 cup frozen Berry mix 

1 tsp. Honey

400 Calories

It has been a while. I thought things would slow down after the holidays, but, not so much. I have been cooking, just not much that is new. Somehow, Winter seems to inspire old favorites rather than intense creativity. I have been cooking and eating well, but simply. My two new favorite things, that I have been eating for almost two weeks straight are smoothies and this soup from Undercover Caterer. These delicious smoothies are brought to you through the magic of Vitamix.

 Smoothie Station

I've been tracking combinations and calories.

I've been thinking about a juicer or mega-blender for a while. I really like juices and often enjoy juices when out and about. I had a pretty poor juicer years ago. I really hated all the waste and that so much fiber was discarded. (I know now that the pulp can be made into crackers or other creative goods.) My friends, Laura and Paula have both a top-of-the-line juicer and a Vitamix. I asked to borrow their Vitamix for a week to see if it would be a worthwhile investment for Mr. Dwayne and myself, and, boy-howdy, is it ever! 

 Pineapple Breakfast Smoothie:

2 Spears fresh pineapple, peeled

1 Satsuma Mandarin orange, peeled

1/2 banana, peeled

1 Kiwi, peeled

1/2 cup Greek yogurt

1/2 tsp. Vanilla 

1 tsp. Honey

4 Ice cubes

320 Calories

Mr. Dwayne and I have traded in our regular breakfasts for daily smoothies. Our most repeated smoothie is the Berry Breakfast Smoothie, shown above. It is yummy and chock full of things that are super good for you. I add a handful of greens and some carrots to mine, but Mr. Dwayne is enjoying the fruit without the veg. I can tell a slight difference in the texture, but the taste is the same.

 Yum!

I feel great. Really! I have not given up coffee, but I no longer need coffee to start my day. I have gone from one cup in the AM and one in the PM to just one, mid-day. Unlike many meals, these never make me feel sleepy or weighed-down. Even if it is only my belief making me feel great, I accept. Because many of these are not low in calories, they are not a beverage to have along side a meal, but are a meal in themselves, especially if you include a little protein and fat. 

 Green Fruit and Veg Smoothie begins...

1/2 Avocado, peeled

1/2 banana, peeled

1 Satsuma Mandarin orange, peeled

Hand full of greens

1 Spear fresh pineapple, peeled

1 tsp. Honey

300 Calories

 Green Fruit and Veg Smoothie, completed.

 Good things make good smoothies.

This smoothie is more like a slushy. It is tangy and delicious and joy inducing. This one is a beverage and doesn't have many more calories than a can of soda while packing a giant mountain of nutrient density. Blue berries and lime are a great combination. The addition of my own elderberry syrup is the sweetener and an immune enhancer. The cherry-chia komucha adds protein and probiotics. This is really, really good. If you try one thing on this page, I suggest that this be the one.

Immunity Berry Slushy

1/2 cup Cherry-chia kombucha

2 tbsp. Elderberry Syrup

1/2 cup Blueberries

Juice of 1/2 a lime

1 cup Ice cubes
145 calories

If you have a powerful blender, or a Vitamix, you already know how to do the blending - Start slow, push things down into the blades. When things are chunky, but liquid, turn up the speed and process on high for a minute or two. I usually process a little longer for things with tough seeds, like blackberries. 

You can use fresh or frozen fruit, or a combination. Put the non-frozen and liquid stuff in first, otherwise the frozen stuff freezes your liquid. 

Try to find some big, re-usable straws. 

Wash everything ASAP. You'll thank me in the morning.

Happy Everything, with the Best Coconut Candies

We've had a very good Christmas. As for many people, for us the holidays are bitter sweet this year. We have loved ones who are suffering and fading, and it's awfully hard to watch. But, we do the best we can and we show up. Loving someone who is suffering can open one's heart in new ways. It can be fatiguing, but I know that our loving presence helps when nothing else seems possible.

Mix the candy and scoop onto parchment, then chill.

I am always searching for ways to bring some small pleasure to the people I love. For my mom-in-law, who can be lost and frightened in her dementia, I try to bring eye contact, smiles and hugs. I agree with her and nod and tell her that we will always love her and keep her safe. That's all we can do. For my father-in-law, who cares for her, we come and share a meal and easy conversation. We are patiently waiting for him to allow us to give him a break. Meanwhile, we just show up with love and whatever normalcy we can bring.

Once chilled, melt the chocolate and butter. Roll the balls smooth.

My mom has had a hard couple of years providing care for her own mom, my Grandma Betty. I love them both so much. My mom has health issues that often cause her a great deal of pain. When I visit, I try to convince her that she is a princess and she should allow me to do the work, chores and lifting. She tries to remember, but like me, she likes to do things for herself and she likes to do things for others. These coconut candies are her favorite. When I asked her if she would like them again this Christmas, her eye brows lifted in keen interest. When she bites into them, her eye lids flutter and she makes happy noises. This is just about enough present for me - to know that through this simple gift I've given her the opportunity for days of pure pleasure. For me, this is part of the magic of cooking. There is care and nourishment, but there is also the gift of pleasure. 

I hope that all of you who peek in on my little blog experience joy and pleasure this Holiday Season. No matter how we celebrate, we can all share the joy of Winter's sparkling lights and knowing that the longest night of the year has passed and we are now heading steadily back into the growing light of Spring. May Peace be with you.

Carefully dip the balls in the melted chocolate, one at a time,
and place on clean parchment.

Chill again, melt more chocolate and give them their second dip.

Mom's present, before we broke into them and helped her enjoy them.

Coconut Candies

For the candy:

14 oz. dry, shredded and sweetened coconut

1/2 cup powdered sugar

1/2 can of sweetened condensed milk (7 ounces)

2 tbsp. soft  butter

1/4 tsp. vanilla extract

Stir all the candy ingredients together in a bowl until well combines. Use a teaspoon or 1 tbsp. cookie scoop to portion the candy out onto a parchment paper lined cook sheet. Place in the refrigerator for a few hours or over night, until they are set. 

For the coating:

2 10 oz. bags of dark chocolate chips (I like at least 60% cacao), divided

2 tbsp. butter, divided

Place one bag of chocolate chips and 1 tbsp. of butter into the top of a double boiler. Gently melt the chocolate over water that barely simmering. Make sure the bottom of the top part of the double boiler does not touch the water. If the chocolate gets too hot, it will "break" and look curdled. Stir the chocolate until very smooth. While the chocolate is melting, roll the balls between your hands so that all the little coconut shreds will be tucked-in. Dip the candies, one at a time, into the chocolate. Carefully lift them out of the chocolate and let them drain for a bit. Place back onto a new sheet of parchment. Then they are all done, place them back in the fridge. While they are chilling, melt the second bag of chocolate chips and the remaining butter. When melter, did each ball again, one at a time and place back onto the parchment to harden. When all the balls have had their second coat of chocolate, place them back in the fridge and chill until they can be easily handled and put on a tray for gifting. 

Makes about 2 dozen.

Random Food Fridays - Cream of Carrot and Fennel Soup

This latest soup is the result of my CSA box. Winter brings lettuces, carrots, fennel, greens, oranges and apples. Not all of those ended up in this soup. Carrots and fennel are the star.

Fennel has a flavor and fragrance similar to licorice. It's pretty good raw, especially with oranges. But that is not my favorite way to enjoy it. Fennel becomes rich and sweet and mild when cooked. It is a great addition to a gratin or a soup. If you've never tried fennel, you should give it a go!

Cream of Carrot and Fennel Soup
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 leek, chopped (be sure to wash out any sand)
2 ribs celery, chopped
1 fennel bulb, trimmed and sliced thin
2 potatoes, peeled and diced
4 cups diced carrots
1 tbsp. fresh chopped tarragon, or 1 tsp. dry tarragon
1/4 cup chopped fresh flat leaf parley
6 cups chicken broth
1/2 cup half and half
Salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste

Place a large pot over a medium heat and add the olive oil. Add the leeks, celery and fennel and sweat them down until they are translucent. Add the remaining vegetables and herbs and stir to combine. Add the chicken broth. Increase heat and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer until the carrots are very tender. Use a hand-held blender to puree the soup. There will a few chunks. If you want this soup very smooth, puree in batches in a blender or food processor. Stir in the half and half. Taste and season with salt and pepper. Makes about 10 cups.

Random Food Fridays - Breakfast Rice

So, as you can see, it's pretty hard to make rice pudding look exciting and pretty. You'll just have to take my word for it - This stuff is good!

People always talk about oatmeal as something that "sticks to your ribs." But I find that most cereals leave me searching for snacks by 10 AM. I wanted a hot cereal, but with ooomph! I remembered this yummy rice pudding, but wanted to make it again using fresh spices and less sugar. What a difference! I also made it a larger batch and reheated my serving each morning. You could make this vegan by using almond milk rather than regular milk. Do use the fresh spices. They are so warming and delightful on these wet and chilly mornings.

Breakfast Rice
1/2 cup raisins
2 cups cooked brown basmati rice
2 cups milk (I used non-fat)
1 stick cinnamon
2 big slices fresh ginger
4 green cardamom pods, whacked and cracked
1/4 to 1/2 cup sugar
pinch salt
1 can coconut milk
1/2 cup toasted, slivered almonds

Place raisins in a heat-safe bowl or mug and top off with boiling water. Set aside.

Place the rice, milk, cinnamon stick and cardamom pods in a saute pan. Simmer over medium heat, stirring frequently, until most of the milk is absorbed. Add the remaining ingredients except the almonds. Continue to simmer until the pudding reaches the desired consistency. Fish out the spices and add the almonds. Store in the fridge with a sprinkle of cinnamon.

This makes four generous breakfasts for me.

Update 1/28/13 - I just made this vegan, substituting the 2 cups of milk with 1 1/2 cups coconut water. Worked out just fine!